The Refining Fire

Zechariah 13:9

This third I will bring into the fire; I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, “They are my people” and they will say, “The Lord is our God.”

When I worked as an adult leader in my church’s youth group, I had confidence in myself as a Christian teacher. But that was before I had kids of my own. Now, as a mother, I know that there was a lot I didn’t know about raising kids. I didn't know that God would teach me through my kids.

God gives children to couples as a blessing. Before you smile and give a happy sigh, let me first explain “blessing”.

My kids are both obedient and challenging. They’re affectionate and frustrating. No matter how adorable they are in the morning, by bedtime they will have had ample opportunity to make me pull out my hair.

Many mothers will agree that having kids changes your life. What nobody told us when we were pregnant was that God will use these children to test your mettle.

God loves to bring us closer to Him, and closer to who He intended us to be. If we look in the mirror and see ourselves as a shiny gold rock, but we were intended to be a beautiful solid gold sculpture which was crafted with intricate details as delicate as a butterfly’s wing, then God’s got some work to do in us.

He has to throw us into the fire and refine us.

We were already valuable to him when we were cut from the mountain, but we’re even more valuable when we allow ourselves to be refined in His fire and sculpted by His hands.

God gives some people children to bless them with a refining process. He doesn’t tell us this is what motherhood is about, but if we’re smart, we’ll allow Him to use our children to help us grow up.

When you can look back on your life and see the changes God has made in you through your difficult mothering moments, you can give the glory to God and honor Him. His fingerprints are on you.

For example, if your child wouldn’t go to bed when you directed him to, you could resort to reading, storytelling, or less fun ways to get the child to stay in bed. When I’m faced with a “kid challenge”, I often see God’s finger pointing at me. I can see reminders of times when I’ve not been where I should’ve been. He shows me that He dealt with me gently, but firmly.

God doesn’t give in to us when we throw a fit, and parents shouldn’t lower their standards because a child wants them to. But we should see the lesson He wants to show us in our struggle. We should take notice that we’re being purified and tested and sculpted into something beautiful.

When God’s refining is more complete in me than it is right now, I want others to see that God claims me as His own. I want them to see that I claim the Lord as my God. His refining fire will make His presence in me more obvious.

If it takes raising kids for me to be blessed with that purifying fire, then I say, “Thanks, God, for the privilege of being in Your hands as I work through these mothering challenges.”

Perspective

Acts 17: 26-27

From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us.

If you stand on the earth and look at the moon, the moon looks small and the earth looks enormous. But if you stand on the moon and look at the earth, the earth looks pretty small.

I like looking at problems from a different perspective. It helps me see the problem as it really is. Sometimes we forget that the problem might not be what it originally seems. When we're intimidated by an angry person, we forget that person's perspective. They've experienced pain in some form. Their pain is the problem, not their anger. We can help them by praying for their healing instead of letting them intimidate us.

You can pray about any problem you have. It might be a problem so big that it weighs you down with stress and worry. You might think you have to handle it all on your own. But many times, it’s too big for you to fix. You might even think it can’t be fixed.

What you really need is a change of perspective.

The problem isn’t big when you put it in God’s hands. If we look at it from God’s view, we’ll see that he can handle it. He’s not sweating.

However, if we see ourselves, our problems, and our God through a worldly (ungodly) perspective, God doesn’t seem big enough to handle what he says he’ll handle. It’s hard to relax and trust God when we see him as being far away.

According to Acts 17, God is not far from us. Sure, there are problems to face, but I challenge you to sit at the feet of God and notice that the world isn’t such a problem when it’s in God's hands.

Get Up

Genesis 3:8-11

Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”

He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”

And he said, “Who told you that you were naked?”

Haven’t we all taken the wrong advice, made the wrong choice, or listened to the wrong voices? If you’ve heard from God and you didn’t obey, understand this: God gives second chances.

Adam and Eve heard from God regularly. They had a regular appointment with Him in the garden. When He came for his expected appointment, Adam hid. That simple act let God know that something was wrong.

Instead of hiding when we mess up, we can communicate our failures to God. He understands and forgives.

Seeking God and finding Him isn’t hard. The fact that we’re so imperfect is what is hard to deal with. A lot of people try to do what is right. They figure out how to obey God, and then that sneaky snake whispers something to entice them away from what God has told them to do. They stumble. They feel so bad about stumbling that they stay down too long.

God says, “Get up.”

God will provide for you everything that you need. Everything. But you have to get up and walk with Him. He will lead you through doorways and lead you out of danger, but you have to do the walking.

You were created to do something that nobody else can do. Your life has purpose. God designed you with specific gifts and abilities so you can accomplish that purpose. Communicate with God and find out what that is. You have a job to do, but you can’t do it lying down. Give God your guilt, shame, bad memories, and pain. Let Him help you back up.

In your journey to a better relationship with God, you’re probably going to stumble. The key to the journey is to get back up and keep walking.

How To Hear God, part six

1 Samuel 3:6-10

Again the LORD called, "Samuel!"
And Samuel got up and went to Eli and said, "Here I am; you called me."
"My son," Eli said, "I did not call; go back and lie down."
Now Samuel did not yet know the LORD: The word of the LORD had not yet been revealed to him. The LORD called Samuel a third time, and Samuel got up and went to Eli and said, "Here I am; you called me."
Then Eli realized that the LORD was calling the boy. So Eli told Samuel, "Go and lie down, and if he calls you, say, 'Speak, LORD, for your servant is listening.' "
So Samuel went and lay down in his place.
The LORD came and stood there, calling as at the other times, "Samuel! Samuel!"
Then Samuel said, "Speak, for your servant is listening."

God speaks in an audible voice to some, in a silent spiritual urging to others, and still others hear Him when they read the Bible.

We want to hear God, but sometimes our own expectations get in the way. We want God to speak in a certain way, and when He doesn’t live up to our expectations, we think He’s not speaking to us.

But He is speaking. We have to learn to look for the message in the mess of our daily lives.

In the sidebar, there is a sign-up box for my ezine and weekly tips. The purpose of the weekly tips, is to get people to see God in the ordinary things we see every day. He doesn’t hide his message from us. We don’t have to climb to Mount Guru to find God. He’s here with us in our world every day.

If we read the Bible in the morning, but don’t hear from God, we need to change the way we’re reading it. God lays out His message in the Bible, in the newspaper, across the internet, and sometimes in the note from your child’s teacher. Be curious enough to find God’s message in your every day routine.

Can we stop telling God that He has to send us a sign? Can we be real with Him? Maybe start treating God like we love Him?

We can be content in our relationship with God. We can be together with God and participate in a conversation without asking Him to do something for us. He doesn’t make us do anything to earn His love, so why should we expect Him to do what we want in order to earn our love?

Practice listening. If you set a time for a conversation with God, would you let Him do most of the talking?

Do we let our friends talk when we’re with them? Of course we do. When we’re not with our friends, we’re still content in our relationship even though we phone them, email them, or text them during the day. Have you ever scheduled your friends to be with you one hour each week, hog the conversation, not let them get a word in, and then complain that they never speak to you?

When we hear a message from God in our neighbor’s words, our job is to pay attention. We can be content just being with God, but curious enough to find out what He wants to say. God can speak to us any way He wants, but when He does, we should stop and focus on Him.

Contentment in a relationship with God is a basic part of having a friendship with God. We can build up to contentment in our relationship with God if we feel like we’re spiritually as young as Samuel when he first heard God. Even Samuel had to start somewhere.

Step six of hearing from God is being content in your relationship with God while curious enough to look for His message in many formats.

How To Hear God, part five

Isaiah 8:17 KJV

And I will wait upon the LORD, that hideth his face from the house of Jacob, and I will look for him.

Waiting on someone is a “give and take” experience.

A waiter in a restaurant is willing to do what the customer asks or, in other words, has a desire to hear and obey. He introduces himself, gets to know the customer and makes her feel welcome. He listens before serving. He comes back to ask if the food is suitable, refill the drink, or supply more condiments. These are steps one through four of this series on how to hear God.

A waiter is also patient. If the customer is slow in giving the order, the waiter gives her more time and comes back later to see if she’s ready.

Never does the waiter stand in front of the customer and plead, “Oh, great customer, I say to you in the name of my employer, what would you have me serve you? Tell me now while I wait here on bended knee. Please, make me wait no longer. I’ll do anything. Just let me serve you today.”

That would be ridiculous.

But isn’t that the attitude of some church people who don’t listen to what they’re saying to God in prayer?

In some ways, God is like that customer who keeps coming in to see what we’re willing to serve. If He feels welcomed every time He’s with you, He’ll want to hang out with you permanently. If He feels loved because you’re paying attention to Him, you’ll hear from Him.

If you want to hear from God, wait upon the Lord like you’re the waiter in the restaurant. Wait with patience.

When your constant effort in getting to know God is balanced with patience, the journey to hearing God better and knowing Him intimately will last a long time. That’s good. It takes forever to know God because there’s so much to know. You are seeking the God who is limitless and multi-faceted.

Don’t get frustrated after working at the relationship for three weeks. Only three weeks, and now you’re giving up?

Wait upon the Lord.

Step five of hearing from God is staying patient.

How To Hear God, part four

Hebrews 6:10-12

God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, in order to make your hope sure. We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience
inherit what has been promised.

Someone once asked, “How do you get to Carnegie Hall?" The answer has always been, “Practice, practice, practice.” I’ve also heard that anything worth having is worth working for. Since the effort we put into getting better at something raises the value of what we’re doing, shouldn’t we put a lot of effort into any relationship we value?

If a couple of people don’t put much effort into getting to know each other, they’re really just acquaintances. There are a lot of church people who are merely acquaintances of God. But that relationship can grow with a little effort. God is willing to spend more time with us if we’re willing.

And then there’s the issue of maintaining a relationship. Some women are called “high-maintenance girlfriends” because it takes a lot of effort to maintain that relationship. If you see your relationship with God as “low maintenance”, it can be really easy to be neglectful. I think all humans get lazy in their relationships occasionally. The people we love the most are hurt when we forget about them, ignore them, or neglect them in other ways.

How can we ensure that our relationship with God will get stronger? Practice, practice, practice. Be diligent to maintain a friendship with God. We can practice our friendship skills in our relationship with God.

We must work daily on maintaining a love relationship with our spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend, so why not work daily on a relationship with God?

If you aren’t hearing from God and you want to, then put some effort into the relationship. Church time shouldn’t be the only time we work on maintaining a close bond with God. Church time is when we should be taking a look at what we’ve done during the week to see if we’re giving that valuable relationship enough of our time.

Step four of hearing from God is being diligent and paying attention to your relationship with God.

How To Hear God, part three

Proverbs 8:32-34

Now then, my sons, listen to me; blessed are those who keep my ways. Listen to my instruction and be wise; do not ignore it. Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorway.

Having a desire to hear from God and actually listening are two different things. Let’s look at listening to God as an act of obedience. Like anything else God tells us to do, if we do it we are blessed, but if we disobey, we forfeit the blessing.

Some people find it easy to forgive others because they were taught at a young age to forgive their siblings. If we know we should forgive our neighbor – and we want to obey that scripture that says we should forgive – but we hang onto our grudge, we miss out on the blessing God wants for us. We’ll take our relationship with God to the next level when we follow through with that act of obedience.

However, many of us were not raised to practice the simple act of listening to God.

Listening is an act that happens on purpose. Someone who listens waits with expectation. Who would walk up to someone, ask a question, and then immediately walk off? But we pray like that all the time.

God answers us. He’s been answering us for thousands of years. Psalm 3:4 is an example. “To the Lord I cry aloud, and he answers me from his holy hill.” This tells of someone who waited with the expectation of an answer.

Intentional listening is putting our love for God into action. We can’t stop with just a desire to hear. We have to press through that phase and put some muscle into that desire. The effort we spend on listening to God is never wasted.

Step three of hearing from God is listening for His message.

How To Hear God, part two

If you have a relationship with someone, that usually means you’ve spoken with them long enough to get to know them. When I call close friends and family members on the phone, I don’t always have to say who I am. They can recognize my voice because they know me. They know how I act. They know what to expect from me.

Someone who seeks God by reading the Bible will get to know God and the way He does things. If you learn enough about God to know what to expect from Him, you’ll recognize His voice when He speaks.

A close relationship is one that has moved beyond small talk. You’re ready to discuss things that really matter. You can communicate and entire messages in one small sentence.

When a husband and wife accept a dinner invitation in the afternoon, the wife gets off the cell phone and says to her husband, “The kids.” He responds, “I’ve already called the neighbors. They’re getting them out of the pool right now. We can get them cleaned up in time for dinner.” She said only two words, but their relationship was close enough that he knew what she was thinking.

In Hosea 2:16, we read, “In that day,” declares the Lord, “you will call me ‘my husband’; you will no longer call me ‘my master’.”

One of the main differences between a spouse and a servant is the degree of intimacy. The relationship that allows intimacy is a safe place to share the deep secrets of the heart. Intimacy in your relationship lets you share things that you don’t share with a stranger.

Getting to know God gives you opportunities to hear from Him as a master, or as a friend, or as an intimate lover. God lets you get as close to Him as you want to be. If you only seek God as a servant seeks his Master, then expect the messages you hear to be directed to a faithful servant. If you seek God as a child seeks his father, you’re only looking for messages that would be directed to a son or daughter. If you want to get deeper with God, then share the deep things of your heart with Him and pay attention when He speaks.

Step two of hearing from God is knowing Him well enough to recognize Him when He speaks.

How To Hear God, part one

James 1:22-25

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who
looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it – he will be blessed in what he does.

Some people don’t want to hear God and obey. They are happy being their own boss. Well, not happy, but satisfied that they get to do what they want. Unless they choose to do something that will get them in trouble.

Some want to hear, but don’t want to obey. They’re like people who hear the about a forecasted thunderstorm, but wish so hard for it to be a sunny day that they refuse to carry an umbrella. They’re going to get soaked.

But the man who humbles himself before God, listening for his guidance and acting on what he knows God wants him to do, is the man who will receive a true treasure. His reward for obedience to the scripture is a better relationship with God and a clearer line of communication. Those who seek God diligently in his word and act on what they read are the ones who will find that God is closer than they realized. And with the comfort of his peaceful presence comes love, joy, and helpful warnings to keep us out of trouble.

If you are seeking God with your whole heart and want to hear his guidance, receive his words in the scriptures. Believe that his words of love are for you. Act on what you know God wants you to do. Live in the freedom of the scriptures.

The first step toward hearing from God is having the desire to hear and obey.

Discipline

Proverbs 10:17
He who heeds discipline shows the way to life,
but whoever ignores correction leads others astray.

Are you among the thousands of people who are trying to lose weight this month? How much weight? Twenty pounds? Thirty? Forty?

A goal like that cannot be reached in a day. Some people attack a long term goal like that with a short term frame of mind. They get frustrated with their slow progress and quit before they’ve accomplished what they set out to do.

A long term goal requires discipline. Seeking God requires discipline.

Discipline means correction, training, and restraint (among other things). This is how we affect change. Going on a diet means you're going to show some restraint at meal time, train yourself to be wise between meals, and correct bad habits by replacing them with good habits.

If you “heed discipline” then you’ll pay attention to the correction and let the new good habits stick with you.

There are those who ignore the scriptures by saying that they’re spiritual and they’re meant for church. But God gave us wisdom in the Bible to use in every area of our lives. The same scriptures that help us seek God also help us correct physical problems and social problems.

In this age of indulgence and immediate gratification, discipline is a rare tool. It’s the key to many things. It helps a piano student prepare for a performance. It helps a marathon runner finish the race. And it helps us maintain our relationship with God.

As with any tool, if discipline is used regularly, you get better at it.

Plan For Success

Proverbs 11:25
A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.

January is a time of planning, making resolutions, and setting goals. Many are thinking of how they can prosper in their finances this year.

God’s recipe for success is: Give.

We tend to spend all we have unless we have a plan to save it or invest it. Everyone can save money. Some can save more than others, but everyone can save. If you have a plan to save, you can have a plan to donate. Even if you have to save your pennies to pay your bills, you can still find something to donate. But do it cheerfully, or it doesn’t count.

Generosity is a heart attitude that affects your environment. The recipient’s blessing is the gift, but the giver’s blessing is the joy that overflows in his heart and encourages more giving.

A generous man will prosper in his heart before he prospers anywhere else. But if he’s generously sowing good seed into the lives of others, the sower’s bag of seed won’t usually run out. Why? Because God sees you acting on his command to love and help those around you.

Remember that generosity doesn’t mean giving money. A man who is generous with complaints will himself be complained to. And a man who is generous with the wisdom he’s received will receive more wisdom. People sometimes copy the good things they see others doing. It’s true that what goes around, comes around.

During this month of planning out how you will spend this new year, plan to give in abundance those things you’d like to receive: love, friendship, respect, and unexpected blessings.

Start Right Where You Are

Proverbs 14:30
“A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.”

This is the time of year when we all look around to see what part of our lives we want to improve next. Many women are looking in the mirror at the body they want to improve. Some men are looking at their accumulation of toys to see whether they want to buy sports equipment or computer games next.

I hope there are those who are taking inventory and realize their need to improve spiritually.

Early in my marriage, I would buy a few books on how to grow up spiritually in one way or another. My husband and I went to Bible studies and prayed together to improve our life together and our life with God. Around the time we started raising kids, I stopped buying the spiritually themed self-improvement books.

It’s not that I don’t think I need to improve anymore. The growth in those early years taught me to focus not on books, but on God himself.

The books were an important part of my growth, and I’m thankful for them. But spending time with books cannot be a substitute for time with God.

And time with God is what we all need to be spending, instead of money.

My husband and I still buy those books occasionally, but we get our peaceful heart from being with God.

Every January, people walk around with the build up of December’s stress added to the guilt of having spent too much and eaten too much. January isn’t usually a peaceful month for most people. They wish they’d gotten that one game or toy that they’d asked for, but they don’t feel right about buying it for themselves. So they just sit and envy those who got what they wanted.

Do we ever envy someone’s spiritual life?

Why be envious of someone else’s walk with the Lord? Develop your own relationship with God and forsake the ways of the envious.

Start right where you are. Don’t compare your spirituality with anyone else’s. Be ready to receive what God has for you right where you are.

When you look in the mirror and see that you need to improve your body, remember that a heart at peace is how we give life to our body. And a heart at peace comes from time spent with God.